You have taught your child skills for “using his words” to express anger and frustration in difficult situations. Through role-playing with you and a whole lot of on-the-playdate training, he has mastered the delicate art of self-control when it comes to handling his own angry feelings. On the flip side, how does your child do when it comes to receiving your anger or the frustrated words of playmates? Does he know how to respond to another’s anger with the same skill as he can express his own?
Help your child learn these three basic rules of responding to anger to help him complete his training in coping with anger—both his own and that of others:
1. Listen openly
- Assure kids that angry words are like thunder—on their own they are nothing to be feared. Kids who can tolerate listening to angry words keep the door open for calming, healing communication.
- Remind kids that they can be attentive and tuned in to what a person is saying regardless of whether they agree or not.
- It is also important to teach kids the difference between listening openly when someone is expressing angry feelings and tolerating verbal aggression. No child deserves to be exposed to abusive words from anyone.
2. Avoid passive and aggressive behaviors Read More
It’s important to do what you love and love what you do with your time. In high school that perhaps means being on a sports team, a member of a club, or maybe active in your student government. All very, very good thing (especially if you love doing them). But, then for some, “doing what they love” can mean getting involved in some really out of the ordinary activities, which are always exciting and interesting to hear about.
Take Jonathan Yan and Zak Kukoff of Westlake Village, CA who I came across today on The Choice. These two high schoolers have built a business in their spare time to help schools reduce truancy (possible SAT word there…it means “intentionally being absent at school”). The company is TruantToday and is certainly one of the cooler recent out-of-school activities that we’ve heard of high schoolers doing. Starting a business and going to school full-time…sounds intense, but I’m sure quite fun too. Check the infographic about the habits and life young and rich entrepreneurs, Read More
Welcome to my website. Thank you for wanting to be part of a new, growing community of people that would like to improve ourselves and help others do the same.
This website was started so that I can have the opportunity to share my life’s journey to give you insight into your own personal development. The aim of this site is to give you as many tools as you need to begin or continue your journey to achieving your life’s dreams. This site will help you look into your own life and help discover your own tools that you can utilize to help you grow.
One of the biggest things I wish to accomplish with this site is to show you how every aspect of your life is connected, and how you can use this fact to learn about yourself and maximize your potential. I constantly show this in my posts to hopefully give you valuable insight about yourself and the world around you. By reading about my own journey, I hope that you will find value in it and adapt it to your own life in order that you may become motivated, enthusiastic, and inspired in everything you do.
What I believe makes this blog unique the interaction I hope to provide. This is not just my blog, it’s your blog and it’s our community. Take advantage of the advice column and who knows, you just might inspire me to write a post! I also believe that showing the connections in your life provides a different perspective and uniqueness.
Some things about me…
My experience, in the beginning, was that of fear and trepidation. Although I did read the 4 Hour Work Week and understood the principles, the thought of actually taking action upon them seemed unthinkable. I decided that I needed more information and knowledge before I continued. I scoured the internet for every resource on passive income, every blog, every book, every newsletter, and every free e-book that would come with signing up for a newsletter. I wanted to make sure that when I did it, I would do it right. I wanted to be as prepared as possible.
All that happened, however, was that I ended up more confused and overloaded with information than ever. Although I did find some wonderful blogs along the way, and the articles did address fears and concerns of mine, it still did not eliminate the fact that I had yet to take any definite action. I read about every lifestyle design blogger’s experience and their recommendations, but in the end, I was still only spending hours READING about lifestyle design and not actually doing any designing of my own. Read More
High school was a difficult experience. I initially had a large group of friends and would hang out after school with them at a nearby pizza place. I wanted to be social but never enjoyed the large social interactions. I felt that I should have, but didn’t. I wanted to be able to hang out with lots of people and join in on large conversations but couldn’t. College was all about getting through, then I wanted to study MBA and then finally I realized that I actually might be introvert. It took me a while to learn that there was nothing wrong with me. Even though I was ready to start with my MBA degree, I decided to first focus on starting a small business/website with information about affordable MBA programs.
There’s the unfortunate misconception out there that being an introvert means that one is anti-social, a recluse, and shy. When I recently told a friend that I’m an introvert, he replied, “No you’re not. You’re social. You talk to people.” Being an introvert is not the same as having a shy or withdrawn personality. It’s a type of temperament, something unchangeable. Our defining characteristic is that we draw our energy inwardly- from the inner world of emotions and ideas. Hanging out with lots of people or being in a bustling city will therefore drain our energy and overstimulate us. Extroverts, in contrast, gain their energy from the external world- activities, socializing, people, and places.
Famous well educated introvers
Below is easily one of the most helpful tools in my mental and emotional life. It has helped me clear numerous limiting beliefs in record time, clear my daily frustrations as if they were on an etch-a-sketch, work on deep emotional issues, and allow me to pursue what’s important in life with a clear head.
I’m not trying to sell some product. I just happen to sound like a late-night infomercial when I talk about it. Oh, and it’s basically free. It’s called re-evaluation co-counseling, or RCC for short.
I described this process in a previous post about improving relationships but in this post, I want to focus more on the individual benefits of it. In case you didn’t read the previous one, here is a quick synopsis of Co-counseling.
In simple terms, it is two people talking together. The difference in this case, however, is that only one person talks at a time and the other does not offer advice or comment. It is about listening carefully and giving your full, loving attention to the other person while he/she is talking. You can easily try it with a friend. Read More
The movie The Secret has caused the Law of Attraction to explode into mainstream consciousness. However, the hype surrounding and within the movie has somewhat diluted its core concepts. I want to give what I have found to be the essential steps in making the law work.
I must preface this by saying that I am far from some kooky, self-help hopeful who thinks that just by thinking positively and clicking my heels, I will get whatever I desire. These are steps I have found to help bring what I want into my life that conventional ways have not been able to. Without further ado, the steps:
1) Set an intention
It must be:
– stated positively, i.e. “I walk with ease and comfort” vs. “I don’t have all of this pain in my body”
– stated in the present tense
– verifiable, i.e. “I have $2,500 more in my account every month” vs. “I am rich”
– written down on paper. The people that have their intentions written down hold a FAR greater chance of having them come true than those who merely say it to themselves. Read More
For a few months, my girlfriend and I were separated by several states. When we were finally together in the same state again, a lot had occurred between us during that time apart that made situations tense at times. In an attempt to improve this, I proposed we try that “talking” thing people were raving about, but in a different fashion from the usual conversation. I wanted to try a “Re-evaluation co-counseling” style discussion. I honestly believe that this did wonders for our relationship.
Simply put, Co-counseling consists of two people taking turns listening to one another. Yes, it’s a conversation in some ways, but a little different. It is about listening and paying very careful attention to what you hear. You listen to the other person without interrupting to offer suggestions or comments, only listening. Read More
This post is not just for Asian men. Although there is the phenomenon in which one is more likely to see an Asian women with a White guy but not vice-versa, this post will not directly address that issue. It will, however, help any Asian male that feels that it is an issue.
This is not a tutorial on how to attract and get a particular person. It’s about wanting the feelings that one gets from a relationship i.e. warmth, playfulness, excitement, etc. and having the right person come to you. The right person for you may not be the one you are after. That person may not be a match in that she is just not attracted to Asian men. What I am setting out to do is to give you the tools to attract the type of people who are attracted to Asian men (or whatever you may be). This involves clearing yourself of the beliefs that you are not good or deserving enough, putting out the intention to attract the kind of person that gives you the feelings of compassion, joy, and excitement, and taking action to allow the person to find you. Read More
I have a crippling fear of dancing in public. I love to dance. No, there is not a contradiction between the two. Every day, as I walk home from work, I have my earbuds in, The Gap Band playing, and am dancing down the streets. I am by no means a fantastic dancer, but I can now confidently say that I can listen to music and feel comfortable dancing to it in public.
This post is for every person out there who wants to learn how to dance but is terrified of dancing in public. You hear music and your body wants to move but you don’t know what to do or don’t feel comfortable doing it. Perhaps you hear some music, you begin to get fidgety, you want to dance, but all that comes out is wild flailing or jumping up and down.
My Story I have always loved moving whether it be capoeira, rollerblading through city streets, rock climbing, or acrobatics. But the thought of dancing (whether it be club, swing, or contra dancing) has always scared the crap out of me, despite my desire to learn. I always wanted to know what to do with my body when I was inspired by music.
The most that I was able to do was to jump up and down, flail, or just do the side to side shuffle that most guys resort to in public. When I took breakdancing classes, I was overwhelmed by the dance circles and the people watching me. I would either freeze up and somehow resort to a mutant form of Irish step-dancing or dance awkwardly enough that friends would actually pull me away for my own sake. Read More
This is not going to be a self-help blog. This is not going to be a get-rich, be the best you, and land the perfect girl in 4 days (if you sign up for the Chuck Norris Karate Commando 3 day Training Seminar) blog.
In beginning to write posts for this blog, I realized I had a block in publishing content that would typically fall under the headings of “personal development” and “self-help.” That block is something that I would like to share with you: I do not want to be associated with useless, fluffy self-help authors. Anyone that has perused the self-help section at Barnes and Noble has inevitably seen the large chunks of crap that litter the self-help market. There is so much junk, ranging from How To Be the Best You in 48 Hours to Be a Millionaire in 3 Days!, that I feel that it is necessary to elaborate on what I will not be in this blog.
#1 …but wait, if you join our Super Incan Warrior Training Seminar, you will learn the REAL secrets to (insert ludicrous claim)…
It pisses me off when reading a book that authors will stuff it full of advertisements for their seminars or other products, but never provide any real content. People purchase your products as they trust that it will provide value to their lives, not as a 175-page advertisement for the real deal. They tell you what you need to do to make changes in your life, and then endlessly redirect you to either another product or a seminar of theirs to learn how to actually make those changes…screw you guys. Read More